How to Avoid Being a Matandang Dalaga

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I have been writing about how I ended up being a matandang dalaga. While I was thinking about what to write next, I realized, I have no idea. That drove me into thinking how I can possibly get out of that block. 

 I think I could avoid the block had I avoided being a matandang dalaga. So, I called up some of my most intelligent friends and asked them for their advice on how I could actually avoid being a matandang dalaga.

 Here are the best ones I got.

Click here to understand why I think my relatives are at fault for me being still single at this age.

  1. Lower your expectation.
  2. Lumandi ka. ‘Te, you’re not that pretty. You need to flirt like Jessica Rabbit on steroids to outdo other women who… are more blessed than you are.
  3. Be a bitch. The good ones are taken. Agawin mo.
  4. Don’t watch a lot of movies. Those things form images in your head about what men are supposed to be like and those things aren’t true. Most of them were written by people who have no social skills, no breasts and are on drugs.
  5. Identify your target market. What kind of guy do you like? Then, look for an opportunity. Observe what other women around him aren’t able to provide, offer that. Make a plant of action. What are the different activities you can do that will make him fall for you. Finally, make a timetable and budget. Set different milestones. How long will you give yourself to flirt? How long until he is supposed to realize he likes you? Etc.
  6. Just remember that men are like dogs. Give them food, let them sleep, shit, pee and fuck. They’ll be loyal to you.
  7. Widen you horizon. Be versatile. Don’t be exclusive to one gender.
  8. Every year, lower your standard by a notch.
  9. Move to the U.S. Maganda ka dun.
  10. Stop counting your damn birthdays! 
Click here to ready about why I am 30, single and depressed.

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