4 Idiots
An ordinary afternoon with my friends.
“Look, I know I am average looking at best. It’s fine. I’ve made peace with God about it a long time ago. It took me a long time but I finally was able to accept that I am not one of those people who can go out with in a white shirt and a pair of tattered jeans and will still turn heads. It was rough for me but I was finally able to get to that place when I just knew I had to take the extra mile to look at least acceptable. But the last thing I want is to walk around with a guy and have everyone around us think ‘She hit the jackpot but him… tsk… tsk… someone needs to hit him in the head or something.’ I don’t want to regress!”
“I know a lot of women out there say they don’t care about a guy’s looks but they actually do, especially the hot girls. I mean, who would want their genes diluted, right? BUT not me. I really don’t care about how a guy looks. I am hot. I’ve seen my sisters and brothers marry people who are within the range of average looking to ugly and their children still turn out great.
What I cannot compromise is the brains. I need someone smart… super smart because I’m dumb. I need to balance the genes of my children. I don’t want them walking around while people think ‘That girl needs to walk around with a signage, Warning: I’m Stupid’. I want them to be, at least, not stupid, you know? Having one person not understand the importance of Tesla in the family is enough.”
“I need to get married next year”
“Why?”
“I want to still be hot when I become single?”
*Cricket sound*
“Well, I estimate I’d stay married for about seven years. I’d be 39 then. It will take me over a year to recover. I’l be 40. I think I will still be able to control my weight by then. I can still be hot. So I need to get married next year.”
“There was a point in our life when I wanted to stop hanging out with you guys.”
“Why?”
“We were such a cliché - four intelligent ugly girls who stick together because the popular ones wouldn’t have us as friends.”
“What changed your mind?”
“Her,” points to Idiot #2.
“She made me feel a bit better.”
“I just needed someone to do my papers,” Idiot #2 said.
“We know!”
My friends, ladies and gentlemen.
Idiot #1: I Don’t Like Hot Guys
“Look, I know I am average looking at best. It’s fine. I’ve made peace with God about it a long time ago. It took me a long time but I finally was able to accept that I am not one of those people who can go out with in a white shirt and a pair of tattered jeans and will still turn heads. It was rough for me but I was finally able to get to that place when I just knew I had to take the extra mile to look at least acceptable. But the last thing I want is to walk around with a guy and have everyone around us think ‘She hit the jackpot but him… tsk… tsk… someone needs to hit him in the head or something.’ I don’t want to regress!”
Idiot #2: I Really Don’t Care About Looks
“I know a lot of women out there say they don’t care about a guy’s looks but they actually do, especially the hot girls. I mean, who would want their genes diluted, right? BUT not me. I really don’t care about how a guy looks. I am hot. I’ve seen my sisters and brothers marry people who are within the range of average looking to ugly and their children still turn out great. What I cannot compromise is the brains. I need someone smart… super smart because I’m dumb. I need to balance the genes of my children. I don’t want them walking around while people think ‘That girl needs to walk around with a signage, Warning: I’m Stupid’. I want them to be, at least, not stupid, you know? Having one person not understand the importance of Tesla in the family is enough.”
Idiot #3: I Need to Get Married Next Year
“I need to get married next year” “Why?”
“I want to still be hot when I become single?”
*Cricket sound*
“Well, I estimate I’d stay married for about seven years. I’d be 39 then. It will take me over a year to recover. I’l be 40. I think I will still be able to control my weight by then. I can still be hot. So I need to get married next year.”
Idiot #4: We We’re Such a Cliché
“There was a point in our life when I wanted to stop hanging out with you guys.” “Why?”
“We were such a cliché - four intelligent ugly girls who stick together because the popular ones wouldn’t have us as friends.”
“What changed your mind?”
“Her,” points to Idiot #2.
“She made me feel a bit better.”
“I just needed someone to do my papers,” Idiot #2 said.
“We know!”
My friends, ladies and gentlemen.
Comments
Post a Comment