4 Idiots

An ordinary afternoon with my friends.


Idiot #1: I Don’t Like Hot Guys

“Look, I know I am average looking at best. It’s fine. I’ve made peace with God about it a long time ago. It took me a long time but I finally was able to accept that I am not one of those people who can go out with in a white shirt and a pair of tattered jeans and will still turn heads. It was rough for me but I was finally able to get to that place when I just knew I had to take the extra mile to look at least acceptable. But the last thing I want is to walk around with a guy and have everyone around us think ‘She hit the jackpot but him… tsk… tsk… someone needs to hit him in the head or something.’ I don’t want to regress!”


Idiot #2: I Really Don’t Care About Looks

“I know a lot of women out there say they don’t care about a guy’s looks but they actually do, especially the hot girls. I mean, who would want their genes diluted, right? BUT not me. I really don’t care about how a guy looks. I am hot. I’ve seen my sisters and brothers marry people who are within the range of average looking to ugly and their children still turn out great.
What I cannot compromise is the brains. I need someone smart… super smart because I’m dumb. I need to balance the genes of my children. I don’t want them walking around while people think ‘That girl needs to walk around with a signage, Warning: I’m Stupid’. I want them to be, at least, not stupid, you know? Having one person not understand the importance of Tesla in the family is enough.”


Idiot #3: I Need to Get Married Next Year

“I need to get married next year” 

“Why?” 

“I want to still be hot when I become single?” 

*Cricket sound* 

“Well, I estimate I’d stay married for about seven years. I’d be 39 then. It will take me over a year to recover. I’l be 40. I think I will still be able to control my weight by then. I can still be hot. So I need to get married next year.”


Idiot #4: We We’re Such a Cliché

“There was a point in our life when I wanted to stop hanging out with you guys.” 

 “Why?” 

 “We were such a cliché - four intelligent ugly girls who stick together because the popular ones wouldn’t have us as friends.” 

“What changed your mind?” 

“Her,” points to Idiot #2. 

“She made me feel a bit better.” 

 “I just needed someone to do my papers,” Idiot #2 said. 

“We know!”

My friends, ladies and gentlemen.

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