Stupid Words of Wisdom

There's plenty of fish in the ocean. 

I think some stupid fisherman used dynamite for ten years and killed all the fish, destroyed the corals and polluted the gaddam ocean!

Love is blind. 

So, THAT's why it can't find me!

What doesn't kill you will make you stronger.

... or make you a paraplegic. 

Truth always prevails.

Unless the other party hires the best lawyers. 

All men are created equal. 

You sure you were using one fu@#in' ruler?

When someone throws lemons at you, make lemonades. 

Well, I got hit in the head. I was so fuckin' dizzy, I couldn't get up to make some gaddam lemo effin' nade. 

Love conquers all

Except hunger and thirst.

Always try to be the bigger person in any situation. 

I tried and I gained 20 pounds while that bitch is walking away with my boyfriend and a 25 inch waistline. 

This too shall pass. 

You forgot the part when something worse will come to take its place. 

Money can't buy you happiness. 

But it will allow you to be miserable in a great island with a stunning view of the beach while holding a margarita. 


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