"I was testing her"

I've had my share of drama queens and kings in my life. I still have some of them, the ones I can't get rid of either because I love them too much or they just refuse to go even after being kicked out of my life.

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There is one unforgettable drama king and queen in my past who have had tremendously insane effects in my life but that's another post. This drama king and queen were a couple. I was very close to both of them. As such, I was often the shock absorber. Whenever they fight, they tell me. That's fine. What is not fine is that they expect me to get in between them. It was ludacris. I could hardly fix my own [then] relationship, why the hell would they expect me to fix theirs?

The guy had one particular habit, testing the love and fidelity of the girl. Every now and then, he would do stuff that is set to prove or disprove she is being true like texting her from a different number to flirt with her. If she responds, it means she is or has intentions of cheating.

Sometimes, the masquerade becomes very elaborate. He created a facebook profile based on a fictional character and maintained for a about six months. He created other digital footprints to make his identity more "real". After that, he started contacting the girl claiming to be someone from the girl's past. He asked her to guess who he is. In the process of guessing, she slowly reveals parts of her past and let us just say she wasn't exactly setting her sight on the papacy during her younger days.

The way he juiced out details from her was also admirable. He would state some event which were purely based on his "intelligent guesses". The girl will then be able to connect it to something in her past and give out some details or confirm some of the thing he said.

What is your idel kind of relationship?

Those would then anger him and use it to further doubt her love and fidelity.

We didn't know it was him contacting her int he beginning. We just knew that it began to be another source of drama in their relationship.

There were so many thing that's wrong in the whole thing. I didn't understand what's making him upset about her past. She never claimed to be all clean and preppy. I also didn't understand why he would dig a grave for himself. If he couldn't handle it something, why sought it? Lastly, why be with someone you can't trust? If you don't trust her, break the eff up with her. 

Yes, they broke up.

You don't need to test your partner's love or faithfulness. Those drama will come naturally. But more importantly, do know that when you feel the need to test your partner, it only means there isn't enough trust in the relationship. In that case, it is bound to fail or one of you is bound to be miserable which is also failure. The moment you feel the need to test your partner, do know that she will fail, regardless of the result. Do know that you have failed. Do know that your relationship already failed.


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