Dating The Bad Boy

Dating the bad boy... hmmm.

I am one of those who gravitate towards bad boys. They don’t necessarily have to be someone who served time or beat up people to death just for the heck of it. The rebellious, I-am-not-fond-of-giving-fuck kind of guy does just fine.  

Click here if you want to know why I became more romantic when I turned 35.

I think I was born with it. Growing up, my crushes were the bad boy athletes. There weren’t even actors or singers. They were the tough athletes or the cursing, Chucks-with-tattered-levis in a formal meeting kind of guy.

I don’t know why exactly but I have several theories.

One, it has a lot to do with feeling special and next to the basic needs, feeling important on top of people’s needs.

We all like being special. What’s more special than being able to tame the lion?

It feels good knowing that even when he doesn’t give a fuck with the world, he gives a fuck about you. If feels good knowing that you were able to bring out the best in the person… that you were the one who spotted a diamond hiding behind layers upon layers of mud and shit. It feels good to be someone’s weakness.

Two, it has something to do with dominance.

We all like feeling better than someone, being superior… having people submit to us. When you have a bad boy with you, it means you have been able to do something many others weren’t able to do – tame the beast.

What do you vow to never do in your next relationship?

Three, it caresses the girlie side of every woman.

Bad boys give off that manly feel, the alpha male feel and they make us feel protected… like we can lean on them and they will always be there to beat the shit out of every ant that dares to bite us. Around them, will always feel safe.

Four, they make us feel free.

They are flawed which means he will most likely also be more forgiving of our mistakes and imperfections. If he has the audacity to go against social norms, then he would understand our rebellious side too. He would probably even tolerate our rebellion.

Fifth, they are what we dream of.

Each of us wants to do something we are too chicken to do. It may be vandalizing, challenging authority, overspeeding or whatever. They are what we can’t be, they do what we can’t… for as long as we are with them, we live vicariously through them. We can’t rebel, then they can do it for us.

I have no idea if those are correct to everyone or to some… I am not even sure if those are true for me. One thing is for sure though... I haven’t found the good kind of bad for me.