Why Do People Cheat?
So, it's probably unfair to say I am faithful because that has never really been tested. What I do know for sure is that I'm not even interested. When I'm in a relationship, I am focused on the guy I am with. Sure, I have crushes but those are nothing more than infatuation that are more superficial than a 4th-grade crush.
I have been cheated on which was pretty amazing considering the guy wasn't particularly good looking. I thought that if you ever get into a relationship with someone that's not good looking, you will have some semblance of security that he will not cheat. Apparently, getting someone to like you has nothing to do with how you look.
It's also what made me realize how I should start deconstructing a lot of my beliefs.
For one, I do believe him when he said he wasn't in love with the girl and it certainly didn't mean he wasn't happy with me. He couldn't explain why he did it but after years of occasionally thinking about it, I think I can.
It is true... it had nothing to do with me or our relationship. Cheating is all about the person who is cheating.
Cheating is all about vanity. Yup. Vanity. Having someone want you makes you feel good, important and desirable… And I don’t care who you are or what you are, everybody wants to feel good, important and desirable. It’s exciting to feel wanted especially if that someone is willing to commit a mistake just to be with you. It makes you feel that you are worth the mistake.
In a long relationship, it’s easy for both parties to feel comfortable… too comfortable that we always assume the other party knows how important he or she is for us. We take certain things for granted. That and the fact romance and excitement and giddiness slowly goes away.
Excitement is replaced with security.
So, when someone shows interest and chases after you, it puts you back into that early stages in your relationship when things were exciting and you feel so wanted and desired.
Whether that vanity will eventually lead to love is another matter altogether. That guy, being particularly not good looking had the time of his life having someone like him.
People who are more vain than others will tend to cheat more. I know that everyone is vain. We all like feeling important. That means everyone can cheat but those who are more vain are more likely to cheat.