Things a Matandang Dalaga Should Have

Don't let your years go to waste. Whether you are single by choice or by circumstance, you need to make something of your life, you need to achieve something, be something and fulfill some of the dreams you have set out for yourself.

Below are the things you should ALREADY HAVE when you reach 30.

A Cause to Support

Some will argue that they are already helping their relatives, maybe putting a niece or sister to school or helping in relative's hospitalization or whatever, and that is no less great but you should also think about other people who may not have relatives like you, not even in the 5th degree. You should also think about things that may not necessarily be a matter of life or death but is impotant to you like the arts or research to get cure for some very rare disease.

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I am putting a child to school through World Vision. It's not much because I don't have enough but I have a soft spot for children. If I have more, I would most likely support an art school for the less needy and I will as soon as I can afford it.

You should find something that you believe in and support it. It's a way of paying forward, sustaining the life of what you love and giving a chance to people not related to you the same way someone else not related to you helped you.


By the time I was in my mid 20s, almost all my high school friends were getting married. I got slightly depressed but I quickly realized it wasn't helping me. What helps is doing something with myt ime that's productive. At 25, I just broke up with my first boyfriend, surrounded married close friends and relatives wondering why I am still single. I realized I need to figure it out quick. I had to know what I actually wanted to die doing and it's writing.

No matter the money, no matter my age, no matter... I will write.

You need to know what your passion is. It doesn't have to be something glamorous or financially rewarding but it has to be something that you know you will never grow tired of doing. You need to know what and who you are.

A Set of Friends that are like Family

It is natural to find new friends but by your 30s, you need to have a set or several sets of friends that are consistent and reliable. They are the ones who you may see rarely but will be there when you need them. They are the people who know that side of you which you can't show your family. They are the ones who know the worst side of you and still love you.

They are the family you chose and your are the family they chose and always will be.

A House and Lot

Single people usually work towards having a car first once they start having enough income. Buying a house and a lot isn't really in their vocabulary especially when they are comfortable living with their parents but a car devaluates and also a liability. A house is what you should be investing on. By 30, you need to have a place of your own, something you have already paid for or paying for. You shouldn't be living with your parents. Your parents should be enjoying their life already and you should be independent.

You need to own a place that you know is yours.

Out of the Country Travel Experience

You don't have to travel the whole of Europe but you should have been able to travel several countries when you reach 30. You should have personally experienced other cultures, other way of life and other parts of the globe.

A Solo "Thing"

At 30, there should be something you enjoy doing alone and prefers to do alone. If you do get married later, this "solo thing" will help you relieve the stress of a relationship. It may be your monthly trip to the beauty salon or shopping or going to museums or hiking. It doesn't matter what it is but there has to be something that you do alone.

A Financial Plan

By now, you need to know the wisest way to spend your money so that you get to pay your bills, enjoy your present life and secure your future. I used to try and save half of my salary but when I started paying for my sister's schools, food and everything else, I realized that's not impossible. I had to restrategize.

I eventually got several jobs. I use the money I make in one of those jobs to pay for my sister's needs. My regular job pays for my bills. The rest goes to savings. I don't get to save a lot now since I still starting out in the US but I am slowly getting there.

Retirement Life

You are halfway there and that's enough reason for you to know what you will be doing when you retire.

I know I will still be writing. In fact, I'll be writing more. I will also be traveling more.

A balanced and Healthy Lifestyle

I was a workaholic when I was in my 20s. In my 10 years in advertising, I barely took a leave of absence. I literally worked every waking hour.

By 30, you should know that work is there to sustain your life. Your 9-6 should start at 9 and stop at 6. You should be doing something else on your weekends, whether it is painting or writing or volunteering or taking your family out.

In other words, you should have a life.

Confidence in Who You Are

By 30, you should know why you are still single and you should be okay with it. By 30, you should know that motherhood and/or being a wife is not a requirement to become a real human being. By 30, you should know that you haven't wasted your life and will not waste your future.

By 30, you, and not anyone else, need to be confident that you are doing just fine... maybe not all the time but more than enough.


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