10 Things You Should Never Do For A Man

At 34, it is but expected for you to know yourself a bit more. There are some people who know who they are early on but I am not one of them. I am still a work in progress and sometimes, just as when I think I am getting to know myself, I change. It's exhausting.

I have decided to just let myself surprise me BUT there are things I also know about myself by now and there are 10 things I know by now. I wish I knew it sooner... well, maybe I did but chose to not put it in practice because it would have spoiled the "youthful happiness". I should have realized that I should stuck to it.

What's done is done, right? I know better, I can do better. I suggest you do to.

My next relationship checklist. Click here.


1. Never Give Up Your Dreams

Fulfillment of or failure to reach a dream is what makes us complete. It is the the journey that we take that allows us to know who we are, who we can be and where we want to be when we finally become the person we envision to be. That's what will complete us, not someone else.

Our journey towards our dreams is what will make us grow, not someone else. If the man you like or love is worth half of what he should be, he will understand that. He knows that the only way you can be the right partner for him is if you are complete.

He knows that if your dreams will pull you 10,000 miles away from him, he will let you go because that's the only chance he has of ever having a future with you.

Never compromise the dreams you've built for anyone.



2. Don't Do Less Than You Can


I've been with a guy who is underachiever. I don't mean to insult or demean him. It's just a the truth. He was lazy and he didn't have big dreams but he had ego bigger than what he should have given his attitude. I found myself doing less because I didn't want to get too far away from him. I quit graduate school and I spent less time writing. I started hanging out with him more and felt that having one job was enough.

Before I knew it, 2 years passed and none of the scripts or manuscripts I started are done. If a guy wants to be with you, he will either be secure enough about himself even if he doesn't achieve as much as you or step up his game so he can keep up with you.


3. Don't Let Him Pull You Away From Your Friends or Relatives

It is natural for him to want you to spend time with his friends. In fact, take that as a good sign. However, he should understand that you also need time to spend with your friends WITHOUT HIM. Friends and relatives are your support system. Not everyday will be a good day in your relationship and you will need a time to pull away from it all to give you some perspective.

Your friends and your relatives will provide you that perspective. They will tell you things you don't see or refuse to see. They will let you let go loose while protecting you. They will let you have fun without putting you in a situation that can compromise you.

They are part YOUR world and a part of who YOU are. If he is the right guy, he will understand that and he will nurture that.


4. Never Lower Your Standards

We all have our version of Prince Charming, the kind of guy we want to settle with. That changes over time and that's normal.

What is not normal is when you have an idea of the kind of guy you want (in that mature way of course) and you settle for someone less just because the person you like can't step up his game. If you want a stable guy that values your faith, values his education and family, has a compassionate heart for the needy just like your, loves the outdoors and the indoors then don't settle for a guy who does nothing but play Minecraft all day long because he is the one that's available.

You spent your whole life trying to be the woman worthy of the kind of respect, love and life that you deserve and you will throw those all away just because the next available man knows nothing consoles.


5. Don't Give Up Your Lifestyle


If you have made it a point to travel out of the country twice a year, workout every other day, go out one weekends, invest money on new businesses , take your family out once a month, volunteer to non profit organization, spend one day a week for yourself... don't change those. Don't give up the things you like buying or doing even if it means time away from him.

It is your life and it is your style. It's part of what makes you happy and it's important that you are happy. These things make you feel pretty or useful or good or mature or whatever.


6. Never Let Him Make You Feel Insecure or Inadequate

There is nothing wrong with someone inspiring you to be a better version of yourself but when the guy expects you to dress like his ex or lose weight or be more refined or anything that makes you different instead of being "better", you better run. You should feel good about yourself and continue to try to be better.

A guy is supposed to make you feel the same way. He is supposed to know for sure that he loves you for all that you are and will be happy to support you as you grow and mature.


7. Don't Pretend to Like or Do Things Just to Make Him Feel You are Fun

Haven't we all done it? We've all pretended to like Basketball even though we don't understand why 10 men will scramble to get one ball when they could buy one and have it for themselves. We've all pretended to be interested in Warcraft and Diablo III and WOW and Magic the Gathering even if it bores us to death. We've all pretended to like biking or running even if eating is clubbing is more like your trip.

Don't. Don't pretend. Don't' lie. You can't sustain it and it will blow up in your face.


8. Never Be The Other Woman

Remember, if he really loves you, he will never put you in a situation where you will even get tempted to be the other woman.

If he has any dignity, he will not let himself be in a situation where he will come close to being tempted to have another woman.

If he is man enough, he will be faithful.


9. Never Lie For Him

A man, a real one, should know the value of honesty.

Besides, if he makes you lie, he will lie.


10. Don't Let Him Use You To Make His Ex Realize What She Lost


It is okay if he is proud of you but there is a difference between being proud of you and using you to make his ex jealous or display to the world just how lucky is. You are a human being, not a trophy.

If he can't live a life without knowing his ex is miserable or regretful then don't live it with him. You are your own woman.

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