Why Do We Want to Have Kids?
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I have been specifically surrounded by children nowadays. After all, this is the age when friends my age have children that are starting to grow up. I would like to have one or two someday. I take that back. I WILL have one or two someday. Whether it is biological or otherwise is still up in the air.
However, it does make me wonder where this desire is coming from. I’ve always known I want to have a kid. I just never quite figure out why.
I do have several theories.
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Theory #1: Love for Our Mother or Father
For most of us, our mother is our first love, for some it our father. We idolize them and adore them. They are our first role model and our first dream is to be just like them. That’s why we wear their clothes, shoes and imitate the things they say. That’s why we become small versions of them.
And the first thing they are to us is a parent. Maybe that’s why it is our first dream, the first person we want to become, just like our parent.
Theory #2: We are Cut This Way
For those who believe that God created everything including humans and that He specifically ordered Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply, it seems that the desire to procreate is embedded in us. It is a direly simple explanation but for those who believe in God, it’s the ultimate one.
Theory #3: It’s Just Vanity
I remember reading a book recommended by my Dad, How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Although far from being the ultimate Human Psychology expert, the book made sense. One of the major learnings I got from it is the fact that every human being has an innate need to feel important.
We all want to be remembered, to be recognized even after we are gone. We want to be known and having a kid is the greatest legacy we can ever leave. It is the flesh of our flesh, blood of our blood. They will remain way beyond us and when it’s their turn to have a kids, we are still a part of that.
It’s also a sense of achievement, the greatest recognition. It’s about leaving a mark, a breathing one.
Theory #4: A Security Blanket
When we grow old enough, we realize everything is temporary. We learn that the thing we call ours can be taken away anytime, even our partners. Having a child is the closest we will ever get to having someone to take care of us and be with us.
It’s our desire to feel secured, to not feel alone and not be left alone.
Theory #5: A Reason to Go On
Do you know that even when all evidence point to an accused in a court case, unless motive is proven, he or she cannot be convicted. Even the law believes that people won’t do something without a reason.
We need a reason to live. That’s why we perpetually look for a partner, hoping that our partner will give us a reason to go through the routine of our daily lives. Having a child that will completely depend on us for decades to come is the greatest motivation we can ever find.
I Still Don’t Know
There are a lot of parentless kids out there waiting and needing a parent or family. I know there is someone out there for me. I am sure we will find each other but I do know that I will be at the winning end of the deal. I will get more from the kid than he or she will ever get from me. The happiness that my future child will bring to me will be more than what I can ever give him or her. I know because I’ve felt that with my youngest sister whom I consider my firstborn. I have provided her with almost everything but what she has provided me is way more.
To feel that happiness again… wait… maybe that’s it. it’s just our desire to be happy. This is what it is all about, right?