To My Godchildren, Things Your Parents Won't Tell You

I have more 20 of you and I may not be there often but here are some things your parents will most likely not teach you simply because... they are parents. They are supposed to guide you properly and teach you how to do good.

I don't have that responsibility so I'll just tell you about reality.


#1. Be good to your friends because you can't show your family everything


There are things you can't do and be when you are with your family. It's just how it goes. Every family has certain set of rules or certain expectations. Your parents brought you up a certain way and they have values they want embedded in you. Sometimes, there are certain parts of you that don't turn out to be what they dearly want you to be. That's why you need friends.

No family is perfect either. Sometimes they are a little fucked up and sometimes, they are fucked up beyond gravity. Those are why you need friends.



#2. You need to make mistakes


You will make mistakes and you need to make some just don't be stupid and do something that will create permanent damage like getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant or getting STDs. The freakin' 711 is everywhere and they sell condoms. It's by the counter. Yes, condoms. Use it. Don't use pills because pills won't stop HIV and STDs.

Don't be effin' stupid. Reach out for that condom. I don't know how much those cost but however much it is, it is way cheaper than the future you will lose.


#3. Cut some classes, break your curfew...


Don't do it habitually but at least know how it is and don't spend your entire life craving to do something wild. And then decide to do it at the time when you actually need to get your life straight. Shit while you can shit.

Just don't be stupid and do shitty things that will cause permanent damage. See above.


#4. YouTube is watching


Look, you will most likely do stupid things like get drunk or try a cigarette or joint. I don't advertise joint or cigarette. I like alcohol but know this, YouTube is watching. Your friends and people you think are your friends have powerful cellphones that may be recording without you knowing it. While you are passed out, someone might be doing something stupid to you and firing away.

Can you handle the humiliation of having those compromising photos and videos of you on YouTube? Remember, once it's on the web, it doesn't go away. It's there

So, I won't ask you to not hang out with your friends or not spend the night or not go drinking or smoking but know this. YouTube is watching. And the people you are spending time with... read below.


#5. Yes, you need that dude who is up to no good


Yup, you need those people who can give you a good time.  I am not saying hang out with people that will get you into illegal drugs or stealing or whoring. Just go get that dude who seem to not have a care in the world. They will show you how it is to not have a care in the world and frankly, it's nice not to have a care in the world.

You need to spend several nights with them. Just don't go spending all day and all night every day of the week with them. Just hang out with them when you are stressed.

Just remember that they don't have a care in the world. They will most likely do stupid things that can cause permanent damage like undress you when you are passed out and post your photo on facebook or video on YouTube. So... although you need to not care about the world on some nights, you need to care about yourself.


#6. Fall in love


Go ahead. Fall in love. Do corny things. Write that corny love letter. Get you heart broken. Feel useless. 

Then... move on.

You need to get over that hump. You need to experience that exhilaration, that tingling sensation... you need that stupidity out of the way because when you reach 25... you sort of lose any excuse to be stupid.

Just remember, when it comes to sex, refer to #2. 


#7. Shield your parents


As I've said, you will most likely do stupid things and some of those things will hurt your parents. Try to shield them as much as possible. I am not saying you lie, when confronted with the truth, tell the truth. Just try to keep things away from them that they don't have to know.

You go through growing pains, it doesn't mean you have to take them with you.

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