10 Good Things About Being a Matandang Dalaga

God gave me a great gift, the natural ability deal with the now and not dwell on the past or future. Maybe it is survival instincts. Maybe it is a defensive mechanism. Whatever it is, it is helping me survive the incredible loneliness that comes with being away from my family.

For the most part, I get to coast through everyday pretty painlessly. Facebook helps. I get to talk with my family almost everyday and still get updated with their life even when they don't tell me every little detail.

One of the things I need to learn, though, is really try and appreciate the advantages of being a matandang dalaga because I really have no choice. It's not like someone else can be miserable for me.

It's not bad, when you think about it.

Click here to read 10 things worse than a heartbreak.

1. You Get to Define Who You Are

You are given the perfect excuse and perfect platform to know what really makes you happy without being dependent on someone else. You find the nitty gritty realities about yourself and believe me when I say, you'll surprise yourself.

Bare of anything or anyone else, you'll have no choice but turn to yourself and find out what will satisfy you, what you would rather be doing, what ticks you off, what makes you happy, why you have done the things you have done and where you want to go.

You become whole all by yourself. You become complete all by yourself. You simply become.

2. If You are to Date, You'll Know What You Want From the Get Go

When you know who you are and what you want, you pretty much are able to cut through the bullshit. You don't waste your time going out with people that you have no business dating other than being available. Somehow, you realize what isn't necessary and what will only mess up the life you have worked so hard in building for yourself.

You are able to identify the bullshit and the crap and stay away from it.

3. Time

You set your own phase and do what you when you want to. You can do new activities, enroll in classes, hang out for as long as you want in any place. You meet new people and chat for as long as you want. You have time for you, more time for you.

4. Not Give a F&*$

You don't have to worry about how your actions will reflect on your partner. You just get to balls out live life the way you want to. Especially when you reach 30 and you are still in one piece and relatively successful, you earn that right to make decisions and not care about what other people will think. You are surviving life alone, that's tough enough. You get to succeed alone, that's a million brownie points.

5. Control Over Your Future

You can plan without having to rely on someone or wait for someone. You can decide buy a house at 35, travel the world at 38, adopt at 40, adopt again at 42... You get to plan and know that the only thing that can screw that up is you.

6. Kinda NOT Have a Choice But to Get Your Sh*# Together

It's not like you have a choice. There isn't someone there that will get your shit together. It's just you and your shadow.

The thing is that you don't really know how independent you are until you have no choice but to be independent. When you are alone, you have no choice but to do things alone and accomplish things alone.

7. Give Back to Your Parents

Parents take a backseat when you have your own family and often, they do so even before you get to that point when you can give back more. Being single (hopefully successful) will let you give more back and, frankly my dear, they deserve it more.

8. Exploring the What Ifs

There is no better time to explore every possibility life will give you but when you are single. You want to backpack and travel to 50 countries in 5 years, do it. You might end up find the right country for you.

You want to become a photographer, take classes, buy a camera, shoot, put it on your website. You want to launch your own line, start designing, learn how to sew or pay someone to sew your vision.

You have the liberty to explore the possibilities.

9. You Get to Help Others If You Want

When you have kids, they are your priority but let's face it that there are a lot of children needing help. There are a lot of causes that could use a volunteer. There are a lot of initiatives someone could take on that would benefit more people. People with a husband or children or both get to live their legacy through their family, you get to leave your legacy to a broader audience.

10.  Filter Through the Lies and Hypocrisy

You don't need to put up with lies, hypocrisy and deceit. Not that it's the only thing that relationship can bring but almost no relationship is without it. Fact is that the reason you are still single is most likely one of those three.


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